Unedited Sneak Peek. Copyrighted 2020.
“People start designing wedding dresses for celebrities and now a bitch got to make an appointment to grab a drink.” Chosyn said as she walked up to the table. Charli looked up from her phone and smiled at her good girlfriend.
“Honey, I’m not the big shot psychiatrist who is always on the go. Every time I call you yo ass either at your office or at the damn hospital seeing ya mental patients. I just can’t keep up with you chile.” Charli got up and gave her friend of the last few years a hug.
Chosyn and Charli met when she ran across some designs of Charli’s wedding dresses on IG while Chosyn was in the process of looking for her wedding dress. Once she found out that Charli was located in Atlanta, she knew that she had to have her design her dress. What started out as Chosyn being Charli’s client turned into a slow budding friendship. Charli had went from being a law student to becoming a designer, and Chosyn understood the drastic change in careers better than most of the people closest to Charli. So, they bonded over that which started a good friendship.
“I have been missing you, Charli. What have you been up to?” Chosyn asked as she sat her purse down and got comfortable.
“Girl, same ole same ole. You know all I been doing is wedding dresses, right?” Chosyn nodded her head yes. “Well, my current client she has me designing her entire wedding party dresses and tux. Chosyn I didn’t think I could do it, but I did. I mean I really designed a wedding dress, bridesmaid dresses, the groom’s tux and the rest of the men in the wedding party. I did that shit and the bride is so fucking blown away at how good everything turned out. This is big for me, especially since the bride is a tough one.” Charli explained as the waitress came over.
“Good evening. What I can I get you two fine women on today?” the waitress asked.
“Vodka, and can you keep em coming?” Chosyn looked at the waitress with a smile on her face.
“Sure thing, love. And for you sweet face?” the waitress looked over at Charli as she waited for her to answer her.
“Crown, on the rocks with coke.”
“Got it. I’ll be right back.” The waitress left the woman as they got back to their conversation.
“Sounds like you been busy then Charli. That’s good. You have come so far from when we first met. If that brides dress looks anything like mine then I know the dress is beyond gorgeous.” Chosyn said genuinely.
“Thank you Chosey.” Charli smiled.
“Please don’t let Rosie hear you call me that. You know she already say that you stole her best friend from her.” Chosyn rolled her eyes at the foolishness.
“That’s comical. Tell Rosie that me and you are just really good friends. I don’t even know sis like that.” Charli shrugged off the comment, because she didn’t even know Rosie like that. Charli didn’t have many friends, and it was for that reason why she didn’t converse with many females. She had a large family, so Charli was fine with being close with her sister in law and all the other family that she had accumulated over the years.
“Tell me about it. But, off of that, is there a lucky man in the picture?” Chosyn pried.
“Alright, here are your drinks. Do you guys want wings or anything?” the waitress asked.
“No thank you.” both women said at the same time.
“Alrighty. I’ll be back in a few with another one of those.” She said nodding at Chosyn’s drink.
“Now, back to you. I’m listening.” Chosyn down her drink as she waited for Charli to speak.
“Well, there is someone special in the picture, but…” Charli trailed off.
“Please don’t tell me that he got hella baby mamas or the nigga married? Oh lord Charli.” Chosyn rambled.
“Nah, none of that. It’s just that he is a she.” Charli answered before she took a sip of her drink.
“Oh girl. You know how many gay people I know. I don’t care about that shit. To me love is love and you can’t help who you love. How does your family feel about it?”
“They don’t know.” Charli answered coolly.
“Oh, well why not?” Chosyn was confused.
“It’s still new with us, and I’m enjoying having her to myself and not have to worry about my family or anybody else know about it. You know they put every piece of my life in the blogs and that’s a piece of me I’m not ready to share with the world yet.” Charli explained.
Chosyn nodded her head, because she understood where her friend was coming from. She understood and respected it. “I understand. The blogs and paparazzi doesn’t care about people’s personal life and space so I can understand that. If you see things getting serious though I suggest you tell your family before somebody else does. With you being famous now you never know who lurking and waiting to drop the next big story on Charli Moore.”
“Enough about me. How is your family? I know that your mother-in-law passed away recently. I’m sorry to hear about that too.” Charli signaled to the waitress that they needed more drinks.
“Thank you for that.” Chosyn sighed before she spoke again, “Everyone is trying to get adjusted to her not being around anymore, which is hard. Aspen doesn’t talk to me. All he does is work. He’s gone by the time I wake up in the morning, and he’s gets in after I’m already sleep at night. I’ve tried to talk to him, and instead of expressing to me how he really feels he avoids me. Kenzington doesn’t understand what’s going on and AJ is just like his daddy. He doesn’t talk to me like I would like for him too. When I bring up Joanne, he changes the subject. Oh lord, and please don’t get me started on Khari. She is taking it harder than anyone else and that scares me.” Chosyn laid everything out on the table. She was grieving as well, but she didn’t have time to be in her feelings about losing her mother in law, because she had to make sure everyone else was ok.
“Damn, that’s some tough shit. How are you, Chosyn? You got a lot going on, and I know about your past demons, so I just want to make sure your mental is ok.” Charli asked truly concerned.
“I’m ok.” Chosyn lied as the waitress brought them another round of drinks.
“I don’t believe you.” Charli looked at Chosyn with hard eyes as she waited for Chosyn to answer her. Chosyn took her second drink to the head as well and looked at Charli. Chosyn was indeed battling some shit on the inside, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted to share that with Charli or not.
“It’s a lot going on right now, but you know me. I always push through and never let shit get me down. Ole optimistic ass Chosyn, ya know.” Charli could hear the sarcasm in her friend’s voice, so she knew she was far from being ok. That worried Charli, because she didn’t know exactly what Chosyn triggers one and she felt like her friend was on the edge of a bad breakdown.
“Chosyn, you don’t always have to be optimistic, boo. You don’t always have to be the person that has everything together. You’re human and you have feelings and emotions that you have the right to express. You can’t keep bottling that shit up, because it’s not healthy.” Charli reached across the table and grabbed Chosyn’s hand only for Chosyn to move it out of the way out of habit.
“Thank you, Charli, for asking how I’ve been. I don’t get asked that a lot these days, so its refreshing to get asked it and get a chance to actually answer honestly.”
Charli gave her friend a small smile before she was signally to their waitress for another round of drinks. Charli could tell that Chosyn wasn’t feeling their original conversation so she decided to change subjects. The women spent a few hours catching up until their significant others started to call and wonder about their whereabouts. Charli answered her phone, but Chosyn on the other hand let Aspen calls go to voicemail every time. After the tenth call Chosyn knew that she needed to get home before Aspen did something crazy. She knew her husband and she wasn’t in the mood for his extraness.
The women collected their things and prepared to depart from each other while promising to link back up with each other soon. Chosyn knew that it would probably be a while before they hung out again, but she wasn’t tripping because they were both grown and busy. Life happened and it kept them from hanging out as often, but that was the part of adulthood no one warned you about. When Chosyn made it home, she was drunk, sleepy and ready to take a shower and dive in the bed. She was happy that tomorrow was a late day for her, because if she had to be up early she would have been screwed. Chosyn got her things out of the car and headed for the front door that opened as soon as her foot touched the first step that lead to their front door.
“Chosyn, where the fuck have you been? I’ve been calling yo muthafucking phone for the past damn hour.” Aspen said tightly as he watched his wife stumble into the house. “And yo ass is drunk, and you drove yourself here? Chosyn you know better than that shit, man. Why the fuck-“
“For fuck sake, Aspen shut the hell up. I ain’t even been in the house for a good five seconds and yo ass is bitching.” Chosyn yelled back.
“Bitching? Oh, yeah you must have had some good shit wherever the fuck you was at. Coming here yelling at me and talking to me like you lost yo damn mind. Chosyn, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you need to get that shit together.”
“Me?” Chosyn asked surprised as she pointed to herself. “You don’t know what’s wrong with me? Nigga, let’s talk about what the fuck is going on with you, Aspen. Yo ass is out the door in the morning before my eyes even open. I’m in bed by myself most damn nights because you don’t know how to bring yo ass home at a decent time. I have to come home and play mama and damn daddy. I’ve been trying to be patient with you, Aspen, I really have, but my patients are running thin.” Chosyn expressed.
“Are you serious right now, dawg? I just lost my fucking mama a few weeks ago, Chosyn. You don’t know how that shit feel and you don’t know what the fuck I’m going through.” Aspen tried to argue.
“BECAUSE YOU DON’T TALK TO ME!” Chosyn yelled surprising herself and Aspen. Chosyn wasn’t one to yell, and in all the years that the two had been together she had never yelled at him. “I can’t understand or know something when you don’t talk to me, Aspen. I’ve been nothing but the supportive wife and mother. I don’t complain or bitch about what the fuck been going on these last few weeks because I do know that you’re hurting, but you can’t shut me out. We don’t work good when we don’t communicate with each other.” Chosyn shook her head as she wiped her tears with the back of her hand.
“Chosyn this shit has been breaking a nigga down mentally, physically, and emotionally. I don’t know how to feel, because I wasn’t as close to her as Khari, but that was still my moms. She stayed here and the kids and you loved her and now she isn’t here anymore. I don’t even know how to process this shit, ya know. I can’t be in this house, so that’s why I’m never here. I wasn’t expecting her death to hit me this hard, but it did, and I don’t even know how to cope with it.” Aspen voice cracked as he spoke.
Chosyn rushed over to her husband and pulled him into her. He was weak and she needed to be strong for him, but at the same time Chosyn needed someone to lean on as well. The different thoughts that raced through her head on a daily and the emotions that she had to deal with was something she wasn’t strong enough to keep fighting on her own. Chosyn had been down that dark road before and she was desperately trying not to go back down it.
“We’re going to get through this.” Chosyn promised as she continued to comfort her husband.
“I hope so, ma. I really hope so.” Aspen answered. The two embraced each other before Aspen bent down to give Chosyn a kiss. It had been weeks since him and his wife had been intimate and he missed her body. Aspen trailed kissed down her neck which caused her to try and pull away.
“Aspen, we can’t. It’s that time of the month.” Chosyn said making Aspen stop abruptly.
“You still getting those?” Aspen asked surprised. He knew the last few times they had sex he let off very hefty loads off inside of her.
“Uh, yeah. Why wouldn’t I be getting it every month?” Chosyn was confused by her husband’s question.
“Well I thought with the way I’ve been nutting in you that you would be pregnant by now.” Aspen answered honestly.
“You think we’re ready for another child to be running around here right now? I mean business has been very busy for the both of us. I don’t know if now is the best time, baby.” Chosyn tried to explain.
“Do you want more kids, Chosyn, and be honest with me?” Aspen looked at Chosyn with hard eyes.
“Of course I do. I just don’t think now is the time.” Chosyn felt herself getting defensive. Aspen looked at Chosyn long and hard before he turned around and headed up the stairs. Chosyn assumed he was going to the room to get in the bed, so she headed to the kitchen and got some water before she made sure the house was locked up and head up to their room. When Chosyn walked in she saw Aspen putting on his shoes.
“Where the hell are you going?” Chosyn asked looking at Aspen like he had lost his mind. “And don’t you dare say shit about going to work.”
“Out.” Aspen said quickly.
“Nigga, out where? It’s damn near eleven at night, you are where you need to be.”
“I can’t stay here and have you lying to my face, Chosyn.” Aspen looked at her with a pissed expression on his face.
“Lying about what Aspen? What the fuck am I lying about now?” Chosyn looked at her husband with annoyed expression.
“If you don’t want any more kids that’s all you have to say. I know we’ve experienced a few miscarriages over the years, but-“
“Fuck you, Aspen!” Chosyn yelled out. “Fuck you, because you’re about to say some bullshit. I can feel it. Those miscarriages fucked me up mentally and emotionally. I was connected to those babies in a way you will never know. Hearing each time, ‘Sorry Mrs. Carter, but the baby didn’t make it,’ is the most painful shit ever.” Chosyn wiped her tears as they fell. “I wanted more children so bad, but for some crazy reason I feel like God is punishing me. Hell, I know that you want more kids more than anything in this world, and I can’t even give you what you want. How do you think it makes me feel that I can’t even give my husband more kids?” Chosyn cried.
“Baby, we can try one more time and then-“
“And then what? We do adoption? We get a surrogate? No, Aspen. Hell no.” Chosyn cut him off. She didn’t have anything against people that adopted or chose surrogacy, but those options was something Chosyn wanted for herself.
“Just one more time, Chosyn.” Aspen begged while Chosyn shook her head no.
“Aspen, no. We will never be able to have another fucking baby.” Chosyn cried.
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